TFTeam
by President Shinzon
Summary: A story describing the origins of my Star Trek Online fleet and some of its members, including Vigo the Carpathian from Ghostbusters, A Ghost from Starcraft and Silent Bob. This is nothing but a demented humor.


Author's Disclaimer and Footnote:

This is a work of Fan Fiction, bridging many, many references from many different sources including Starcraft, Star Trek and Ghost Busters. No profit is being made and no infringement is intended, this work is meant only for entertainment value.

To readers of my "Resistance" Fanfic, this is a non-canon sequel to it, made as a joke and to describe the origins of the fleet in STO I am in.

* * *

"Personal Log: Lydia Marx, formerly Fourteen of Twenty-One recording. It's been a year now since our Alpha Unit completed the mission that branded us all outlaws, as was planned. All things considered it could be worse, the crew of misfits… and some blatantly disturbed individuals… came together and now works in remarkable ways. We've accomplished so much in so little time, yet much yet remains for us to do. Until this war is over, not one person in our little fleet will be able to return to any major Federation Worlds with their good standing intact. Having next to no family and no ties and no other connections to Earth gives me the freedom to move about with little or no longing for home. I feel for the others though, they all left lives behind. It's hard to believe that in one lifetime I could be Assimilated by the Borg, be liberated and serve as a Starfleet Officer for years against my former captors and now willingly carrying out missions against the very directives by which I nearly died to defend. It's even harder to believe the company I keep… a reanimated Carpathian Warlord. Ferangi gangsters, a Section Thirty-One informant that comes and goes and another two captains much like myself that served with distinction, though had a very poor psychological profile as of late. I've come to look at them all as my collective, my family. Regrettably I feel more like a babysitter. This week's mission on Deep Space Nine will be no different. I do not look forward to this…"

* * *

After hours at Quark's saw to it being more crowded than usual, under the dimmed lights in a table far from view of passers by in the Promenade in the back corner sat four individuals. A tall, lanky woman with long dark hair and a Borg implant on her right brow lit dimly green in several places. She surveyed the other three with her cool blue eyes as she put her foot up on the table, dropping a knife into it, her gaze stopping first at the closest man, a Ferangi in a business suit.

"Sonar, you are sure that your cousin is trustworthy? We're taking a huge risk putting our necks out like this" Lydia asked quietly.

"Hadron is a good man, he wouldn't do anything to try and undo his cousin, or his business associates for that matter" Sonar answered.

One of the other two leaned forward into the dim light cast by the overhead light, his older face looking reminiscent of the image of a flashlight held under a chin during a childhood ghost story around a campfire.

"All this is pointless. Targeting one or two people at a time when we could be destroying or enslaving…" Vigo started, but was abruptly interrupted by the final man as he now leaned in closer.

"I called dibs on Quo'nos and you know it you mediocre Medic! Why are you even a Medic!" Will Miller yelled while smashing his fist down on the table, causing all the empty bottles and glasses to hop an inch or so in the air.

"I've told you once I've told you dozens of times impudent mortal! I make them like me, I in-debt them and then I…" Vigo was abruptly cut off now.

"Enough! We're just here to take care of a mole that's working for the Romulans. If you all don't mind I'd like to get back to my ship before I end up in a holding cell!" Lydia growled as she put her foot back on the floor and pulled the knife back out of the table.

"Relax, we'd get you out" Will answered this just before downing what remained of his drink.

"See, that right there is exactly what I'm afraid of. You people would manage to blow me up in the process" Lydia explained.

"What is it you creatures say, oh yes. You have to break a few eggs to make an omelet" Vigo added with a belly laugh

"It's funny because she'd crack like an egg" Will added now laughing as well.

Another Ferangi that looked vaguely like Sonar walked up to the table and handed out more drinks. He studies the four commanding officers.

"The woman you're after is one of those disgusting Caitian creatures. She's been on the station a few days and I'm not exactly sure of where she has been staying. I don't trust her" Hadron said with a typical Ferangi Nasally accent.

"Why is that?" Lydia asked as she studied the pad with the picture of the feline looking humanoid.

"Simple. She never tipped us. Give her one for me too" Hadron answered as he walked off.

Lydia looked the info on the pad over again and started formulating a plan.

"I say we simply enslave this creature's soul and…" Vigo started.

Lydia slid the pad to Vigo, he looked down at it and cringed as if stabbed in the gut.

"Oh no! No enslaving! Set weapons to obliterate! No!" Vigo yelled in a panic before falling over backwards in his chair flailing.

Lydia stepped back sighing as Sonar and Will both joined in laughing.

"Well I'm off to scout out this Caitian. Keep you drunken selves on our comms channel. I'd like backup if something comes up" she explained as she checked over one of her old Anti-Proton Pistols.

"Must you always be so serious hew-mon? The drinks are on my cousin in exchange for clearing his sizable debt." Sonar commented.

"One of us has to be. Shouldn't be gone long anyways" Lydia replied as she headed for the exit.

"She reminds me of Kathryn the Great, we once met in glorious battle. They both have the same annoying 'look at me, I'm serious la-de-da-de-dooo' attitude. I'm Carpathian!" Vigo yelled from the floor as the bar's doors slid open, Lydia happened a look back and just shook her head disapprovingly, yet grinned slightly at it.

About ten minutes later Lydia found herself on the upper Promenade blending in with the crowd as best she could, despite it being off-hours two transports had just docked. After diligently scanning face by face she finally spotted the Caitian mole talking to a man dressed like a Vulcan, Lydia guessed it was a disguised Romulan. She closed the distance, having to shoulder by oncoming civilians. As she got within ten feet of her target she began drawing her pistol to do a hit-and-fade attack on her, but something immediately stopped this.

A distant explosion rocked the station making a tremendous noise that sent people scattering for cover. As the initial noise wore off an awkward silence settled in for a few seconds as people looked around for what caused the explosion. Lydia had stayed put and the two people she had just been approaching noticed her as the both stood from the bench they had covered behind.

"What are you looking at Civilian? Obviously we just had an emergency…" the Caitian Lieutenant began.

A close by chirp like noise followed by a light clattering noise of something metallic hitting the deck plates signaled the end of the feline alien's sentence, and had also signaled the end of her life. A projectile fired from an older style ballistic weapon had gone clean through its head and dropped it cold. As the disguised Romulan drew his disruptor three more silenced shots sounded and he hit the nearby window and slid down leaving a streak of green blood.

Lydia stood shocked, mouth slightly agape as she now got a good look at the assassin that just beat her to her own target standing but twenty feet in front of her. The redheaded woman that appeared human looked back at her with her light green eyes a slight grin about her face. She wore some form of segmented white and gray armor that had glowing blue chaser lights in strips running down it's limbs and her body. She pulled some form of optics set down over her eyes that looked something like an Ancient Earth Masquerade Mask. As she did this she waived goodbye and disappeared in a bright blue flash.

Lydia fired a few shots where the woman had been but gave up after a few seconds when her comm. badge sounded.

"Marx here. What the hell is going on!" Lydia yelled as she ran with the rest of the crowd.

"Bob just tapped into D-S-Nine's systems and I've got you on tracking. Some kind of small Anti-Mater Charge in one of the airlocks, no one was hurt. Watched the sensor logs, whatever that cloak is generated with has no energy signature at all. Never seen anything like it and it matches nothing in our records!" came the voice of Lee, a brilliant Trill Engineer and hacker.

"Understood. Go over those logs as many times as it takes, look for anything out of the ordinary no matter how insignificant it may seem. I'm fairly sure that explosion was diversionary. We're dealing with a real pro here, check any known records that might match her face or bio signs" Lydia replied yelling over the crowd and PA system now issuing orders to the mass of people running for their lives from the already past threat.

"Sonar, Miller, Vigo, get yourselves out here! Someone just took out our mark before us!" Lydia ordered into her comm. badge.

"I fail to see the problem. Dead is dead" Vigo answered.

"I want to know who the hell that was and why they killed our target!" Lydia snapped back.

The team regrouped just outside Quark's a few minutes later in the now almost empty hallways, nearby security was starting its sweeps which would mean they would need to soon lay low again.

"I'm telling you, it looked like a human female but she had technology I've never seen the likes of, and she just disappeared without so much as a sensor trace" Lydia finished explaining.

"You sure you are not simply losing your mind? You women do that all the time" Vigo quipped

"Sorry to interrupt but you all may find it interesting that there is a cloaked vessel disengaging from one of the docking rings now, one life sign on-board. The station's system had no listing of this ship until just now… Looks like she got away from you" Lee toned in on the comms.

"Or Vigo was right and she's just going crazy. But that's my bit, I'm the crazy one in this team!" Miller yelled before breaking a twig off a nearby plant and started eating a leaf off it, leering at the others.

"You are aware hew-mon that you have brains on your shirt, right?" Sonar asked as he got a better look at Lydia.

"How… appalling. Must have happened when she opened fire. Believe me now, Vigo?" Lydia asked.

"Not really. That could be anyone's gray matter. Kind of hard to tell if that a Caitain's brain or not. You could have just done that a few minutes ago to make it more believable" he answered.

"Bob just handed me a bit of good news. Your mystery woman emits a strong delta and gamma brain-wave pattern. She's a psychic, a strong one too. Before you tell us this information is too late, the ship that un-docked and made a run for it is empty, we got close enough for a better scan. She's still on the station, you guys could probably use Vigo to find her" Lee added over the comms.

"Well, you heard him. Bloodhound time" Lydia said towards Vigo, he promptly crossed his arms in a smug look before walking ahead quietly.

"Great, so now we just follow him. Lets try and stay ahead of that security sweep. Watch your angles, this woman is a pro" Lydia explained now trying to catch up to Vigo.

"See, all this is unnecessary. We could just blow out all the airlocks and just suck everyone inside out and pop them. Or! Or, we could just set all the air on fire and have plasma pumping out the air ducts. Fry her cloaked ass. Why do all the aliens we fight get to be psychic lately? What unwritten law said that now all aliens get to be psychic!" Miller toned in trying to keep up as well.

"She's human, at least that's what her life-signs suggest aside from her brainwaves. She also has a strange temporal variance; I don't think she's from our universe. More than likely is from a parallel one, that explains her equipment" Lee answered over the comms.

"Whatever, it's still not fair. Vigo where the hell are you going?" Will yelled to the now sprinting man.

"It is absolutely critical I find what I am looking for, and I think I just did!" Vigo yelled.

"Perfect! Good work!" Lydia answered, drawing a pistol again.

Her heart sank as she watched the Carpathian stopping at a kiosk with a sign reading "Jumja Sticks"

"I would like three cases of twenty five for resale on Memory Alpha. Seventy thirty my way as usual" he said to the Bajoran man behind the counter.

"Is this really the time?" Lydia asked angrily.

"Hey, you want my services you better pony up two thousand energy credits" Vigo answered past his growing sneer.

"Fine, whatever. Charge it to the fleet bank. Now will you help us find…" Lydia was interrupted by Vigo here.

"She's right over there next to the Temple Entrance on the right side, been watching you the whole time. Now help me carry these" he toned in, sounding almost bored.

Lydia pivoted and looked behind herself at the entryway to the Bajoran Temple, raising her weapon.

"Uncloak now, we just want to talk. We're not federation officers anymore, just Mercs like you" She said calmly.

"Doing it wrong, move" Will said before shoving her out of his way.

He drew a hand phaser and set it to wide-beam before firing at the entrance. This burnt the wall in a circular pattern that appeared to have a foot and ankle outlined in one spot right on the outer perimeter of the circular phaser blast, as if she was running away when it was fired. Seconds later with Security pounding down the hall towards them a blue flash in the shape of an average sized human blinked into life near the temple entrance and in just under a second after uncloaking the woman snapped a shot that disarmed miller Lydia and Sonar fired their respective weapons but the woman cloaked again.

The phaser shot to the foot must have damaged her cloak, as she ran incremental light blue flashes lit up vaguely in the shape of a leg. Lydia pointed and Sonar and the now once again armed Will opened fire. It was now this mysterious assassin made her largest mistake, slamming accidentally into Vigo as he toted his Jumja Sticks back towards Quarks, the three cases scattering and one even spilling open as it did.

"That… that was your last mistake, killer of fine confections. Here comes Carpathian Wrath!" he yelled before sending out a telekinetic blast.

The woman did the same and when the two forces met she was flung a ways, landing on her back. As the team moved in to make the capture the security detail finally arrived, simply seeing a person on their back and armed people in just civilian clothing they made a premature conclusion and opened fire on the TF Team. All the opening shots missed and it gave time for the woman to jump to her feet and produce her rifle from her back where it was slung, hip firing at the security team before cloaking again. Lydia grabbed up one of the shells before gesturing a retreat.

"Not worth fighting our own over, we'll find her eventually. Fall back to the bar!" she called

"She will pay for destroying my business" Vigo answered as they retreated.

* * *

Hours later back in Quarks Lydia and Sonar sat at a table looking the round over while Will and Vigo used the dartboard on the nearby wall.

"I do not recognize this type of weapon, it is extremely primitive" Sonar explained looking over the spent casing.

"Primitive by our standards. Think of it this way, that gun could easily plug a shot through one of our shields through us and out the other side with enough force to keep going through at least three or four more people. It may have just been a tactical choice to use this as opposed to an energy weapon. I'll admit she worries me, just hope that was the last time our agendas overlap" Lydia answered; now leaning forward to rest her chin on her hand.

"Why did you go after her? Just a little out of character for you isn't it?" Sonar asked.

"Just a hunch. We took out that Caitain to protect the Federation, no way she's doing what we are with the TF team but maybe just maybe the intentions are the same. She could have proved useful" Lydia explained starting to sound tired.

"Just the same, all the roles are already filled. I'm the headcase, Vigo is the loveable oaf, Sonar is the Mobster and we got Lee and Silent Bob on the AV-Club. You already fill our crazy bitch quota, we're kind of filled up" Miller said as he threw his next dart.

As it flew there was a bright blue flash from about ten feet behind him that came with a clacking noise and just as that dart hit the board a butterfly knife hit the bullseye with it. Everyone drew their weapons and spun to face the now uncloaked woman who stood looking back at them, rifle slung on her back.

"Relax, if I wanted you dead I would have shot while I as cloaked. Been listening for a while, I think we could have some mutual interests. I lost a few members of my crew to the Klingon Empire, Been looking for revenge for that and for a good friend of mine killed by the Romulans. That cat creature brokered information that killed that friend and I just returned the favor" the woman said calmly, lifting her optics set up to her forehead.

"I say we enslave it and force it to make Jumja Sticks to replace the ones it befouled. Then it can be a dartboard for my ship" Vigo said, cheek twitching in anger.

"Lets hear this out, it could be profitable" Sonar said, leaning back in his seat.

"So you just want to kill Klingons and Romulans indiscriminately, or do you have some kind of higher objective?" Lydia asked.

"We're from a parallel Universe and have wanted nothing but a way back since this mess started during a weapons malfunction a year and a half ago. I've lost a lot of people, but one of them more important than the others. I lost a sister to the Borg, I know the Federation has ways to liberate others, you being a former Borg gave me a bit of hope that if I helped you, you'd help me. Once I get her back I can go home, after everything else it's all that matters" the woman explained.

"Well if you're working with us now just remember one important thing. I will not be out done" Will said as he moved to stand where he had been before she had uncloaked.

In Will's hands was a freshly replicated harpoon gun and he used it to plant a shot into the dartboard that cracked it into a dozen small pieces.

"Will not be out done" he reiterated.

"I wouldn't want to. Just signal when you need me. I'll never be too far" the woman said as she picked up her knife from the floor, flipping it closed.

Lydia walked to her extending a patch bearing the TF Team's Spade and Skull logo.

"Seeing as you're psychic you already know our names. Some of us aren't able to just read minds" she said as the woman took the patch

"My code name is Kestrel. That's all you need" Kestrel explained as she looked the patch over. Vigo had said her name as she did, sounding once again smug in his abilities.

"I hope you find your kitten, yes I know. Dog person. Not fooling me" Kestrel said to Vigo as she cloaked again.

"I can be spooky and annoying too! Yeah!" Will said, getting no response.

"Why can't I ever meet anyone normal. Let's just get Lee and Silent Bob to bring the ship in. I think we've drastically overstayed our welcome" Lydia said shaking her head disapprovingly.

-End


End file.
